DON'T STRESS! (teaching YW to deal with stress)

 

     For our most recent Mia Maid class activity we had an activity called "Don't Stress!" It seems like the pressure grows every year for these girls, and as they move from junior high/middle school to high school, the pressure is even greater. Schoolwork, sports, extracurricular programs, family responsibilities, etc. I wanted to teach the girls how to deal with stress in a productive way.

     This was a low-key, discussion kind of activity. 

     I made a print-out of the following information (in blue) for each girl, but I didn't give it to them until the end (so they wouldn't just read ahead and get bored). I had a copy for myself and went over it as we 'discussed'. 

     Basically, I explained a little about what stress is, then I asked:

• What kind of things are stressful to kids their age? (I thought it was better to be general and then let them share if they wanted)
• How can they tell (physically) if they are experiencing a lot of stress? (headaches? stiff muscles?)
• Who would they talk to if they needed help with stress? (this opened a discussion about whether or not they felt comfortable approaching parents, etc)
• How much sleep do you get? (Can you get more?)
• Can you prevent some of the things that are stressing you out? 
• How does exercise help us feel better?
• Why would pray help people deal with stress?

For our purposes, I kept this very basic (it was a short activity because we had some other YW business to do at the beginning of Mutual), but you could expand this activity idea by adding more to it. Maybe have someone come and teach yoga or meditation?
 

Here is the sheet I printed out (the entire blue section below). You can copy it onto a word document to print it out....

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE STRESS?

   Most people think that “stress” is bad, but stress actually means a change or challenge, which isn't necessarily mean a bad thing. For example, if you move to a nicer house, that might be a good thing, but just the change involved would be a sort of stress...a change in your lifestyle that means you have to make adjustments and choices. Or you may be offered two great summer jobs (a good thing), but have to choose between them (which would be the stress part).

   Our response to stress situations is actually biological (have you ever heard of 'fight or flight' response? When faced with the stress of danger , the body gets adrenaline to help you have the energy to deal with it, whether you decide to face the danger (fight) or run away (flight)).

Some sources of stress for teens might include:

• school demands  
• social competition, peer pressure, problems with friends
• bad self-image
• family problems or issues
• moving or changing schools
• having too many activities
• having too high expectations
• financial problems

   People who deal with a lot of stress, or who don’t know how to deal with stress can start to have physical problems because of it. These are the common symptoms of too much stress:

Common effects of stress ...
... On your body	... On your mood	... On your behavior
Headache Muscle tension or pain Chest pain Fatigue Stomach upset Sleep problems	Anxiety Restlessness Lack of motivation or focus Irritability or anger Sadness or depression	Over-eating or under-eating Angry outbursts Social withdrawal

 (Source: The Mayo Clinic)*

IT IS NORMAL FOR US TO FEEL THE EFFECTS OF STRESS FROM TIME TO TIME. HOWEVER, FEELING ‘STRESSED’ MOST OF THE TIME (OR ALL OF THE TIME) IS NOT HEALTHY.

Help for stress:

·       
Physical activity – exercise is physical, but it also helps us feel better spiritually and mentally.
 

      Find solutions to help prevent stressful situations For example, if you are overwhelmed with homework, maybe reconsider how you schedule your time (do you put off assignments until the last minute? Try to do your homework when you’re too tired?)\

      

      Talk to a trusted adult (parent, leader, teacher)

Get enough sleep the average teen needs 9 ½ hours of sleep a night (according to the american sleep disorders association), if your body doesn’t get enough sleep, it can’t fully recover from the previous day and recharge for the next day.
 

      Try increasing the amount of time you pray. You may also want to try meditation and/or deep breathing. “Research shows that people who are more religious are better able to cope with stress, they heal faster from illness, and they experience increased benefits to their health and well-being. Students who had strong religious correlations also had higher positive feelings, lower levels of depression, and were better equipped at handling stress”

ACTIVITY PURPOSE: Teaching the girls about how to cope with stress, pointing them toward good health habits, reaching out to parents & leaders when needed, and encouraging prayer

*I have removed a few of the originally listed symptoms to make this list more appropriate for YW

Sister Missionary Night!

For our joint (all-girls) activity this week we had a special Sister Missionary night! We had heard from several recently returned Elders (and a newly called Elder on his way to the MTC) within the past few months, but nothing specifically for the girls. Since there are so many more girls going on missions now, I thought it would be good to have a special night focusing on full-time missions for women.

Since we always seem to have at least half of the girls showing up after opening exercises, I started out by (stalling) teaching the young women 2 principles that I feel are important for missionaries (and just anyone, really): #1- How to shake hands properly (no limp fish, no breaking bones) and #2- What to do if you are given food you just don't like (such as at a dinner appointment)? (be polite and just eat it). I kept this part of the presentation short, like 5 minutes - and by then most of the girls had arrived.

I had asked one of the young single adult sisters in our Stake (not in our ward) who has received her mission call to come and speak to the young women for the main part of our activity. I asked to her answer questions about preparing for a mission, talk a little bit about what kind of clothes Sister Missionaries wear (and why), and whatever else she wanted to talk about. 

I had also planned an elaborate mission-theme relay race and a game of scripture-mastery tic-tac-toe if we had extra time, but our speaker was very animated and fun - she kept the girls attention for the entire activity, so we never even got around to the games!

Here is the display area that I set up for the young women to look at:

(I had contacted some of the ladies in our ward who are returned-missionaries and got photos from some of them to display on the wall - this was nice because it showed women that they know in the ward serving missions)

I used pictures that I printed out from lds.org (the section on sister missionaries, here) to show that Sisters dress modestly and conservatively, but also are now more modern and cute than in days past (ie, the jumpers and long skirts of my mission days).

Some of the topics that were covered/questions that were asked:

• Do women have to go on missions? (No, it is not required, up to you and God whether you go!)
• Sister missionaries don't have the priesthood, so who does the baptizing? (nearby Elders, local Bishop or other Priesthood holder)
• How did you (the soon-to-be-missionary) that you wanted to go on a mission? (prayer)
• Do you get to pick where you go? (no - assigned by the General Authorities)
• How is a Sister's mission different than an Elder's? (one is 18 months, one is 24 months; Elders have the priesthood authority to baptize/other ordinances; other than that they are the same - both are called by God with authority to preach & teach. Sisters are "real" missionaries - despite what a small minority of people still seem to think)

PS- To make the cake, I used a square cake pan and frosted it with light purple buttercream. I added "skin" color for the neck and then buttercream piping & other decorations. I printed out the "future missionary" nametag and covered it (front and back) with clear contact paper (like lamenating, but cheaper) to keep it from getting soggy & weird when it touched the frosting. I just stuck the nametag to the cake with more light purple frosting. I got the clipart for the nametag here (free) and I used it for a non-commercial purpose, of course.

What to SEND to full-time missionaries

This is a follow-up to a previous post, entitled "What to WRITE to full-time missionaries" (CLICK HERE to see that post, or look in the "missionary" section on the right side of the blog page)

Sending a care package to full-time missionaries serving from your ward is a good activity for the youth because it helps them think about those who are serving (and hopefully appreciate them a little more). It can be difficult to figure out what to send full-time missionaries, though - especially if you are restricted by diet limitations or restrictions on what you can send to a specific mission... What do they want? What do they need? What would they really like?

Our friend Alex is currently serving in Brazil (Manaus), so I am somewhat restricted by what I can send there (and by the package size - its $24.00 for me to send a small flat-rate box that is only slightly larger than a VHS tape), but any size larger of box is over $50!!!!! So I keep it small  and send only candy/food that I think won't melt in transit (because it is HOT there!). Check with parents (or the post office) to see what kind of price and box size options you have if you are sending anywhere foreign. Its more expensive than you probably think!

Think "small" and "useful" and/or "fun"


Here are some of things I have sent Alex:

post-it notes, pencils, stickers (to give to kids), scripture markers, silly putty, card games (like Uno), gum with a hard coating (just because I think it won't melt as easy), pop rocks candy, hand sanitizer (he requested this), sample-size shampoo, sample-size toothpaste, sample-size soap, stain-remover stick (small size, like in travel-size section of grocery store), small lint-roller, PICTURES (pictures of the family, etc), a tie, etc 

Check with parents to see if something like socks (or nylons) might be needed and what size they would want. For sisters, if they wear makeup, things like lip gloss and mascara would probably be very welcome (and one less thing they would have to buy themselves!)


Personalized items are always great, too. Our YW sent missionaries care packages a few months ago and along with treats they put in the box, they also made homemade cards, origami neckties, and pillowcases with their handprints (done with fabric paint). 

Even if there are no diet or mail issues, please ask the parents of the missionary if there are any mission-specific rules (for example, they are usually not allowed to read books other than scriptures, though some missions have made certain exceptions..... some missionaries are allowed to listen to certain types of music, others aren't, etc). 

Food is almost always the best thing to receive because it is usually in short supply (because of spending money on other things like bike repairs!) and it always nice to get treats. One of my companions got a giant box of mini peppermint patties and we thought that was the best thing EVER! It was a whole display box like you'd see in a mini-mart. It was so cool!

Here are a few more things you want to consider:

Anything non-edible that you send will end up in one of these places:

• In their suitcase that they carry from area to area (very limited space - they have to carry all of their clothes & belongings in their luggage)
• Staying in their apartment after they get transferred - a great 'bonus' for the next Elder transferring in! 
• Given to a local member (because they don't have room to take it with them)
• In the trash
• Or, worst of all, they will end up using their (food) money to ship it home (because they don't have room)

That may sound harsh, but its just reality. My parents sent me a singing Christmas tree one year and my companions and I got a big kick out of it, but it got left in the apartment when I was transferred, because in order to pack it in my suitcase I would have had to left my clothes behind! They didn't expect me to keep it with me and bring it home after my mission, but a lot of times people send things to missionaries and sort of expect them to keep it. Missionaries live a sort of transient lifestyle - they are asked to move without much notice and what they can't take with them gets left behind. So if they have just bought a new broom or 80-load jug of laundry detergent and they get a transfer call, its probably going to be left behind for their companion (or their replacement). Its just not practical (or possible) for them to lug extra belongings around.

It wasn't exactly this same one, but you get the idea!

So no matter how much they might like items that you send them, please be aware that unless you are replacing items of clothing that they need, they probably won't be able to take things with them after their upcoming transfer. Its okay to send fun things like this, but just don't let it hurt your feelings if they can't keep it!

"Moroni" Night

Recently, I was surprised to learn that many of the girls didn't realize that Captain Moroni (famous military leader who raised the Title of Liberty) and Moroni (the last righteous Nephite, last of the Nephite Prophets, who completed hid the plates and 1,400 years later appeared to Joseph Smith to teach him and later show him the location of the plates) are not the same person.

Captain Moroni was a great guy, too, but since Moroni (the Prophet) is such an iconic figure in our church (and to the world), I mean, he's on almost all of our temples, right?  I thought it would be help the girls to learn about Moroni and why he is such an important person to us (anciently and in the latter-days)

#1- Learn all about Moroni’s role in ancient times and latter-days (from the scriptures and referencing General Conference talks and Ensign articles). We also talked about Captain Moroni and his part in the Book of Mormon. I showed many examples of church artwork (like that is displayed in our buildings and in our manuals) and helped them identify which Moroni was which, based on clues in the pictures (ie, Captain Moroni is almost always shown with the Title of Liberty)

 There are some Mormon Channel resources here 

I printed out worksheets that I had made by copying and pasting pictures of both of the Moroni's that we discussed (that I had found online) onto a word document. I gave everyone a worksheet and had the girls try to guess which person (Captain Moroni or Moroni) was being portrayed in the picture.

Here are some photos I took of the worksheets I made to give you an idea of what I did, but it is easy to make your own by searching for "Moroni" images on Google. Be ready to defend your answers, because even though this might seem pretty cut and dry, there might be some disagreement

Here is the picture that caused the controversy with some of our girls - it is a painting of Moroni (and Mormon), but about half of them were sure that this was Captain Moroni because it appears to be a war scene. I reminded them that Moroni (son of Mormon) was also heavily involved in the military, and that there is no Title of Liberty in the photo (a big giveaway)...and that the man seems be especially disturbed by the death of an older (gray haired) man:

"Mormon and Moroni" by Walter Rane

#2- Learn what being an “angel” means, in a gospel context (there are multiple meanings):

• Bible Dictionary definition of "angel": here
• Some additional information from an "I have a question" Ensign article (2nd half of the article - scroll down to the 2nd question...) here

#3- Find out why the Moroni statue is used on temples. I emphasized why Moroni was selected to be on the spire, and why (see resources below for info). I encouraged them to remember this whenever they go to the temple or see a picture of the Moroni statue

• New Era article here
•  Moroni statue photos from the Media Library here
•  Ensign article here

#4- Have a Moroni statue making contest (tin foil & gold spray paint) (YW can take home their statues) 
I don't have a photo for this yet, but I will post after we've done the activity. I was picturing making the Moroni statues out of tin foil, restaurant doggie-bag style... 

and since I don't have easy access to gold foil, I will attempt to spray-paint the regular aluminum foil  "statues" with gold spray paint when they are done. I would try this out at home before trying it at Mutual - not 100% sure about the effectiveness of spray-paint on foil :)


UPDATE: I found some gold-foil paper (that is normally used to wrap cake-decorating boards) to use instead of regular silver foil and spray paint.  It is made by Wilton and is available online and at larger stores that carry cake supplies (like maybe Michaels? JoAnns? Our local Walmart carries Wilton brand cake supplies, but only has the silver fanci-foil). Here is an online source: http://www.wilton.com/store/site/product.cfm?sku=pg_fancifoilwrap. I also gave the girls regular silver foil to use as a base and give it more form.


Here are some of the statues that the girls made:



PURPOSE: Help the YW develop a greater appreciation for the scriptures and understanding of the temple. 

COST: @$7.00 ($3.00 for a roll of foil, and $4.00 for spray-paint)

Personal Progress Spotlight- Individual Worth

Once a month (the first Wednesday of every month) our ward YW secretary, Sister McGrath, does a Personal Progress Spotlight for the first 1/2 hour of Mutual. This has been one of the many tools she has used to start sparking interest in Personal Progress among the girls (see the posts under the  Personal Progress label on the right side of this page for more of her ideas).

When you hear the term Personal Progress Spotlight, it probably sounds like we "spotlight" one of the girls who has signed something off for Personal Progress. Actually, what she does instead is spotlight the Values themselves and tries to encourage all of the girls to work on Personal Progress.

Sister McGrath focuses on the YW Value of the month (Faith, Divine Nature, etc - whatever our monthly Value theme is) and how it can be applied to our lives, especially with Personal Progress. Sometimes she gives a presentation, sometimes we play a game - its different every time, so it never gets old. The girls are always encouraged to work on their Personal Progress and set goals. Some do, some don't, but at least they are all reminded about it.

This month in our Ward's YW the Value is "Individual Worth." Sister McGrath wanted to have a Personal Progress Value Experience that the girls could start that night and finish the same night. That way, everyone could have at least one Value Experience completed by the end of the night. We have a number of brand new Beehives (and some older girls) who haven't completed any Experiences yet, so if they could get started on one and finish it the same night, they could finally mark something off on our big Personal Progress Chart and get the ball rolling!

Individual Worth Value Experience #7 is what she chose to focus on this month, and it worked perfect.

Here are the requirements to pass off this Value Experience: 

"Heavenly Father has given you special gifts. Read 1 Corinthians 12:4–12; 13; Moroni 7:12–13; 10:8–18; and Doctrine and Covenants 46:11–26. Ask a family member, a Young Women leader, and a friend to write down positive qualities the Lord has given you. List your gifts in your journal, and write how you can continue to develop these gifts and use them to serve your family and others"

Sister McGrath printed off a sheet for each girl with their name on the top. She also added a cute picture of Ryan Gosling saying "Hey girl - your YW Medallion really brings out your eyes" (see photos below). She laid them all out on a table with pens and had the girls (and leaders) go around to each paper and write down at least one positive quality for every girl. The girls loved this and spent a long time writing nice things about each other.

 

If you read the specified scriptures together as a group, and have the girls ask a parent to add another positive quality to their daughter's sheet (when they get home), then write in their journal, they will have completed all of the requirements to pass off Individual Worth Value Experience #7! Have them bring their Personal Progress books on Sunday to get it signed off! (they can also get it "signed off" online or by a parent)

QUESTION: Does doing a Value Experience together as a group like this count, since its not "individual"? YES! Depending on the Experience or Project, you usually need to work with someone else in some way. In fact, almost all of them require discussion with a friend, relative, or leader. "Listing" of positive qualities as a group like this just adds an element of fun and provides even more positive feedback for each girl. They will still need to speak with a parent and write in their journal on their own. The important thing is always that the girl is actually participating herself instead of just being pushed through a mill, so to speak ("ok, I read a scripture about virtue to everyone, so I'll just sign off everyone's Value Experience now" (whether they were paying attention or not) )

 

QUESTION: What about girls who have already completed this particular Value Experience? What will they do? They can still participate and have a sheet with nice things about them on it (whether it "counts" for something or not), and they can also write on everyone else's paper to help the other girls with their Value Experience. They could also help younger girls or girls with special needs during this project as needed.

Spinach/Artichoke Dip & Baked Tortilla Chips ("Life Skills" Series)

I really want to teach "Life Skills" to the Mia Maids during some of our Mutual activities, so tonight we did some cooking for our class activity. We made Hot Spinach & Artichoke Dip and Baked Tortilla Chips. I chose these items because I thought they would be unique enough to interest them, but easy enough that they could do the mixing and cooking themselves.

First, two girls got started on the Hot Spinach & Artichoke Dip. I used a great recipe from Alton Brown (one of my personal heroes) with 3 small adjustments. I was able to have them follow the recipe with very little help from me.

Here is the original  recipe

And here is my version: 

1 cup thawed, chopped frozen spinach
2 cans of artichoke hearts (not the marinated kind that comes in glass jars)*
6 ounces cream cheese
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1/2 cup mozzarella cheese**
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

Directions: Drain artichokes. Put spinach and artichokes in a large microwavable bowl with 1 cup of water and microwave*** for 2 minutes (stirring once after each minute). Drain again. In a separate bowl, heat cream cheese in microwave for 1 minute. Stir all of the ingredients (artichokes, spinach, cream cheese, and everything else listed above) together in a large bowl. Heat in the microwave for 2 minutes (stirring once after 1 minute).

* Change #1: I checked several grocery stores, but I could not find frozen artichokes. So I just used canned artichoke hearts instead. It was totally fine.

**Change #2: Added mozzarella cheese. Only because I bought some at the store when I couldn't remember what kind of cheese I needed, so we just threw it in there!

*** Change #3: We made our dip in the microwave instead of cooking it on the stovetop. It worked fine.

 

Meanwhile, I had another girl start on the baked tortilla chips. I brought a package of whole wheat tortillas and handed her the recipe, and she handled it all on her own. They were great! I don't have a photo of the chips, but here is a link to a website that explains how to make chips from tortillas (I prefer the whole wheat, but you could use any kind). 3 tortillas made 24 triangular chips, so you could get a lot of chips from a single bag of tortillas.

The girls seemed to like the dip and chips overall and the whole process only took about 15 minutes (20 minutes if you count clean-up). There were some complaints about the smell of the spinach/artichoke combo while it was cooking, but once the other ingredients were added it was "all good"

This recipe made a large amount of dip - probably 5 cups worth. But the smell of the finished dip and chips wafting through the church soon brought the other YW, the YM, and the adult leaders around to see what was going on in the kitchen. By the time Mutual was over, everything was completely gone. It was good for the girls to see that they had made something delicious that others appreciated (and it was pretty easy). Luckily I had brought a box of crackers also, because they ate all those, too!

PURPOSE: Teaching basic cooking skills - either with a microwave or a stovetop. Baking using an oven. Following a recipe. Providing an opportunity to feel pride in something they've made.

COST: Approximately $13.00 (ingredients for dip and tortilla chips - enough to feed about 10 people a 1/2 cup serving of dip)

PRE-DATING BOOT CAMP

  GUYS AND GIRLS - A GUIDE FOR PRE-DATERS

There is a big transition in the relationship between girls and boys during the years they are in Young Women. Some girls (and most boys) are still in the "cooties and hair-pulling" phase when they turn 12, but they must learn to start to relate to each other as equals during their Beehive/Deacon years. By the time they are Mia Maids/Teachers, they are expected to be more mature and start relating to each other in pre-dating situations (ie, church dances). And finally as Laurels they are old enough to start dating. Luckily, they are able to learn line upon line...  

Some of the issues that I've observed in our area (and I imagine that these are pretty common everywhere) are:

• Girls avoiding eating in front of boys (seems to be a behavior copied from older girls)
• Deacon & Beehive age kids teasing each other & sometimes crossing the line to being mean
• Girls standing in groups and whispering/giggling about boys
• Girls making a big deal when a girl gets asked out on a date ("Ooooooh....he LIKES you!")
• A boy or a girl assuming that a date (or several dates) means that they're a "couple"
• Girls (16 & up) who wish they had more dates
• Girls and boys (14 & up) too intimidated or shy to go to church dances

To address some of these issues, we will be having "pre-dating boot camp" for the Mia Maids. My husband used to teach a similar class for Young Men called "Dating Boot Camp" in a previous ward. It was always a big hit. We will be doing basically the same thing, just for the girls this time.
 It doesn't really have anything to do with "boot camp", we just thought it sounded more fun to call it that (If you wanted to have a boot camp theme, like have the presenter wear camo or something, that would be fun!) 

I geared this activity to be specifically for our Mia Maids, but it could be adapted for the needs of Beehives or Laurels as well. A lesson for the Beehives could focus more on how to treat boys as friends and equals (and discuss why boys do some of the things they do, like teasing). An activity for the Laurels might focus more on the dating aspects, how to accept or turn down a date, how to keeps things casual, (and maybe date ideas?). You could also have a general presentation for all the girls together, then split them up into age-specific mini-classes.

Here is the handout we are giving the Mia Maids to try to drum up interest in the activity: 

This Wednesday night for Mutual: LEARN ABOUT BOYS at “pre-dating boot camp”

Brother Rogers will be giving a presentation about how to understand and interact with boys as friends and in pre-dating situations like dances, etc. He will also give some tips on how to relate to boys in dating situations that will help you prepare for when you’re old enough to start dating.

 Some of the topics covered will be:

·   Why do some girls avoid eating in front of guys?What do boys think of that?

·   Should a girl ask a guy to dance?

·   If a guy asks you on a date does it mean he ‘likes’ you?

·   Why do guys show off so much?

·   Should you ever turn a boy down if he asks you to dance?

·   How can you turn someone down without being mean?

·   What can girls do to encourage more guys to dance?

·   What can girls do to encourage guys to date more?

·   Is there anything that girls do that confuses guys (or makes it hard for them to approach girls)?

We have sent out an email survey to every boy we know in the Stake between the ages of 14-18 and got THEIR answers to all THESE questions (and more!). To find out what their answers were, come to this activity!!!   I really did send out a survey to some of the Young Men (14 & up) in our Stake. I sent it to some of the boys in our ward  and also to boys that we know in other wards in the area. I wanted to get real opinions from real boys who live right here. Here is the message I sent out (via Facebook personal message):
"My husband and I are putting on a pre-dating workshop in our ward for some of our YW who are old enough to go to dances and will start dating soon. He wants to get some info from young men in our Stake to help our YW out.
If you have a few minutes to spare, please reply to this 11-question questionnaire (below). Most of the questions have yes or no answers. We are sending this out to all of the YM we know who are 14 and up. We want to get feedback that is relevant in our area. YOUR NAME WILL NOT BE USED AT ALL, so feel free to answer honestly. Some of the questions are about dating, so if you are under 16, just give your opinion about the dating questions anyhow.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP!!!!

1. Do you think its unlady-like for a girl to eat in front of guys?

2. Would you think it was strange if a girl didn’t want to eat in front of you?

3. Is there any reason why girls should try to pretend like they don’t eat much?

4. Should girls ask guys to dance?

5. If a girl asks a guy to dance, does that mean she must ‘like’ him?

6. If a guy asks a girl to dance, does that mean he must ‘like’ her?

7. Do guys in our Stake ask a variety of girls out on dates (for fun and as friends) or mostly just ask the girl(s) they are interested in romantically?

8. Would you ask a girl out (for a date) as friends if you didn’t ‘like’ her (romantically)?

9. Are guys concerned that asking a girl out for a date as friends might be misunderstood as romantic?

10. Would it be easier for guys to ask more girls out if the girls didn’t jump to conclusions that it means they ‘like’ her?

11. Is there anything that girls do that you wish they wouldn’t?"

We based our questions on issues that we have observed in our area, but you can adjust them to suit your needs. This is an opportunity to reinforce the standards in For the Strength of Youth, so you could also cover topics like "Do boys find it easier to talk to girls who dress modestly?" There is an excellent article from the New Era magazine (HERE) that covers a lot of these issues and may give you more ideas.

I have received back answers from 90% of the boys I sent the survey to. I can tell you, I am not shocked by their answers - they were exactly what I predicted they would say. Actually, their answers were nearly identical to each other...

I've combined the responses I've received into a general answer below:

1. Do you think its unlady-like for a girl to eat in front of guys?  No

2. Would you think it was strange if a girl didn’t want to eat in front of you? Yes

3. Is there any reason why girls should try to pretend like they don’t eat much? No

4. Should girls ask guys to dance? Yes, if they want to (one boy pointed out that girls should not repeatedly ask the same boy, because that limits who he gets to meet/dance with, though he might not say so)

5. If a girl asks a guy to dance, does that mean she must ‘like’ him? No (unless they keep asking the same boy over and over)

6. If a guy asks a girl to dance, does that mean he must ‘like’ her? No (unless they keep asking the same girl over and over)

7. Do guys in our Stake ask a variety of girls out on dates (for fun and as friends) or mostly just ask the girl(s) they are interested in romantically? Mostly just for fun, a variety.

8. Would you ask a girl out (for a date) as friends if you didn’t ‘like’ her (romantically)? Yes

9. Are guys concerned that asking a girl out for a date as friends might be misunderstood as romantic?Yes, they sometimes assume it means more, and that can be awkward

10. Would it be easier for guys to ask more girls out if the girls didn’t jump to conclusions that it means they ‘like’ her? Yes, much easier. Would definitely ask out more girl if guys didn't have to worry about this.

11. Is there anything that girls do that you wish they wouldn’t? Don't be so shy, don't giggle so much, don't stand in a group of girls in a dance and giggle - that makes it hard for boys to ask, don't assume that dates are romantic - its supposed to be casual.

I will add more details about the activity and how it went after the activity is over (next week)!